Tunnel vision

The bus stop. Dear god, the bus stop. I was waiting for the 101 from Sherry Matthews, and I see this guy. Just from the back, like a three-quarters angle. "Bulletproof," by La Roux, was playing in my headphones, and something about this man's stance, the way he nodded to nothing in self-awareness, in combination with the dance music, reminded me of a thousand moments at once. Very much like a collage from Babel. A smile before speaking, where the mouth forms the shape of an opening conch shell--with good lips, this is very sexy. A flash of the eyes when walking alongside each other. Even this man's smell. My knees literally went weak and I felt overwhelmingly empty. My day seemed purposeless and my goals more like pathetic attempts at distraction. Which, maybe they were--are we all just trudging ahead in life to forget what we want most? (Not money--THIS is the real distraction. A career. And therefore, education. And therefore, tests, homework, and professors' salaries.) Deep down, isn't love the only thing we're after?

Needless to say, this man changed the course of my day entirely in a nanosecond.

Whoever said ignorance is bliss was clearly the one doing all the ignoring, because being forgotten--being ignored--is just about the most painful experience in life.

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