The Idealized Lady Gaga

?

Baptism/Cheerleaders

I haven't posted anything about music in months. Or, like, years.

But sometimes you have two diet cokes and five cups of coffee before noon and, all of a sudden, writing a few words on new music is more an obligation than a distraction.

On the whole, the pop music world is sort of at a standstill. The invention of Lady Gaga has placed a lot of new artists immediately on the shelf of Been There, Done That. The Gaga effect is so clear, songs like "OMG" by Usher are actually getting airplay. Actually hitting #1 on Billboard. Actually being illegally downloaded. Like tasting a filet mignon and being sentenced to Wendy's square meat patties for all of eternity, we as a pop audience have to dig a bit for anything even relatively tasty.

The food metaphors are a perfect lead-in to "Treats" by Sleigh Bells. Seriously, what the fuck is this? The duo--composed of some death metal musician and a girl group dropout--has created some exceptionally bizarre music. The album is aggressive, almost scary, with crunchy guitar sound effects and bass hits that sound more like boulders colliding in low gravity than an 808. I normally don't listen to "alternative"

(Sorry, a shudder just ripped through my body, sending me awkwardly to the floor of Thunderbird Coffee. Caffeine effect?)

As I was saying, Sleigh Bells is not my usual fare, but the songs are irresistible. My favorite track is "Riot Rhythm," probably because of the cheerleader chants. I just love cheerleaders. If Sleigh Bells had an owl on their album cover I probably wouldn't like them so much, but I continually picture the old McQueen ads and, as I grow deaf blasting "Tell 'Em" and yelling out my car window, I picture her doing cheers and flirtatiously (i.e. sluttily) dancing to the industrial sound of Treats.

The new Crystal Castles is pretty sick, too. "Baptism" is my favorite of the new tracks. I think this is a record that, if Lindsay Lohan had any foresight or taste or culture, would have been wise of her to collaborate on. "Baptism," and the album's lead single, "Empathy," are the kind of accessible underground that propelled Justice to international fame. (Or, at the very least, Youtube fame.) Ambitious, not so much--the album is standard CC fare--but it's enjoyable if you aren't in your room with the lights out.

May's seen more than a few killer singles. Kelis' "Flesh Tone" has already unloaded "Fourth of July," "Brave," and impossible-to-hate "Emancipate Yourself," Kelis' answer to Madonna's "Sorry." B.o.B. is boring as hell, but "Magic" (featuring the insanely sexy vocals of Rivers Cuomo, who is hot by rule of his moniker alone) is bouncy fun without any JoBros musical reference.

Xtina's "WooHoo" is one of those embarrassing tracks you can't imagine being approved ("you don't need a plate/just ya face/ahh") and Keane still sucks ass. No surprise there; being relegated to soft-rock radio play in Applebees is a sure sign you should never have a rapper featured on your album. Like, ever.

To conclude, I recommend that no one ever listens to "Freaky" by Koda Kumi. It is horrible and I somehow bought it on iTunes and have no recollection of the purchase. Don't suffer with me.

10 Happiest Albums of the Decade

Two-thousand through 2010 was a thrilling decade for entertainment. Videogames continually defied storytelling expectation, film delivered both brains and brawn (albeit more clumsily), television consistently impressed both the public (the behemoth that is American Idol) and critics (Big Love), and novels like and Away and The Post Birthday World proved great authors still exist. The most creative growth, however, took place in the realm of music. From the anthem pep of the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Stadium Arcadium (2006) to Britney Spears' darkly futuristic pop in Blackout (2007), Shania Twain's genre-bending Up! (2002) and the solemn free-by-download In Rainbows by Radiohead (2007), music in the 2000s was as diverse as it was frighteningly similar. Shimmering electro-pop (Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor, 2005) and slinky throwback (Solange's Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams, 2008) were trends both widespread and pervasive, from superficial pop to underground hip-hop. But ten albums stand out in my mind as excellent, innovative from a creative standpoint and, as is most important to The Happiest Activist, a hell of a fun listen.

10. Kings of Leon, Only by the Night (2008)


















It's rumored Caleb Followill wrote Only in a single night, beginning with the haunting, desperate "Closer," about a vampire looking to feed. This is not their Happiest record of the decade, but the general tone and musicality of the album wins with major style points.

Happiest Track: "Revelry"


9. Sam Sparro, Sam Sparro (2008)


















Sparro's debut is unabashed 80's-style pop, but occasionally-deep lyrical content appears when least expected.

Happiest Track: "Too Many Questions"


8. Robyn, Robyn (2008)

















Simple, perfect pop.

Happiest Track: "Handle Me"


7. Feist, Let It Die (2004)

















Happiest Track: "Inside and Out"


6. Lady Gaga, The Fame Monster (2009)
















I was tempted to rank this higher on the list--no other female pop record was quite as fun in the 2000s--but the album is still fresh.

Happiest Track: "Bad Romance"


5. The Postal Service, Give Up (2003)

















Possibly also the Happiest Album Art Award?

Happiest Track: "Nothing Better"


4. Lily Allen, Alright, Still (2006)


















Lily Allen was and still is the most believable pop music brat. And her brand of humor has been copied again and again...(Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Kate Nash...lot's of K's, for some reason)

Happiest Track: "Knock 'Em Out"


3. Fiona Apple, Extraordinary Machine (2005)


















Happiest Track: "Better Version of Me"


2. The Killers, Hot Fuss (2004)


















There are a lot of faux-Brit rockers in the music world, but none as slick, sexual or pared down as Brandon Flowers and his less-relevant band members.

Happiest Track: "Smile Like You Mean It"


1. Amy Winehouse, Back to Black (2006)


















Cutting selections from this list--which began much larger than the ten you see here--took a lot of careful consideration and research. I wanted to include a Madonna album, simply for the impact she's had on my life in the past decade, but no single album is better than the above ten (2000's Music came close). I also wanted to throw in Rihanna's Rated R (2009), which is altogether a better record than The Fame Monster but, let's all be honest, the Lady deserves a spot here. There were a hundred others--Shakira (for She Wolf, 2009) and John Mayer (Continuum, 2006), M.I.A. (Kala, 2007) and even electro-pop goddess Annie for the dazzling, whirling disco of Anniemal (2004). But when I had to make a choice for Happiest album, there was no doubt in my mind. Amy Winehouse is a legend in the making. She has a voice without peer and an ability to write lyrics as sharp as shattered glass--and as heartbreaking as the worst breakup you've ever been through. Paired with Mark Ronson's addictive beats and as-of-yet-unmatched talent at mimicking the rasp of vintage recordings, one can only hope her heart is broken again. And that's black.

Happiest Track (of the Decade): "Back to Black"

HappiestList 2K8: Number #2 & #1

#1: MGMT's "Time To Pretend"
When the new year rolled around, what was the first track I listened to? (Honestly, it was the Kaskade remix of "Womanizer," but let's skip over that) It was MGMT's "Time To Pretend," their third European single and the song most applicable to the life of a young student. Off Oracular Spectacular, a psychedelic exercise in truth-telling, "Time To Pretend" cuts straight to the heart of life.

With the exception of Death Cab for Cutie's "Passenger Seat" and John Mayer's "Stop This Train," no song heightens my emotional senses like "Time To Pretend." It is an anthem of feeling, a confession of how we live our lives: "This is our decision, to live fast and die young/ we've got the vision, now let's have some fun/ yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do? / get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?"

We don't all do lines of coke under the Eiffel tower, or marry supermodels, or sail to islands on our private yachts, but neither do Andrew Vanwyngarden or Ben Goldwasser. MGMT is all about the big reveal, and the big reveal is...they're the real deal. (Wow, too many "eals." This would have been worse had my favorite song been "Electric Feel" instead)

So there you have it. The Happiest of 2k8. Nothing--not the Gap's Fall line, not Gears of War 2, not Britney Spears' managers--was, well, better than MGMT and "Time To Pretend."

#2: Madonna

For someone as obsessed as I am with the Queen, you'd imagine she would be the Happiest of 2k8, not number two! But it is what it is, and while Madge had an amazing year, she is not Andrew Vanwyngarden.

In 2k8, Madonna stuck a needle in Justin Timberlake's ass, was inducted into the Rock and Roll hall of fame, released a few amazing singles (and a half-baked, half-great album), began and ended the highest-grossing tour in history, left her husband and $75 million of her own estate, and in the most cougar-like of moves, is now dating the much younger Yankees star Alex Rodriguez.

I'm not sure if Madonna can 'stick it out' (LOLZ) forever, but for 2k8, she proved to women (and men) everywhere that people's expectations have no bearing on your potential to succeed. There was a single moment on her Sticky & Sweet tour, during her performance of "She's Not Me," where Madonna unbridled her sanity and let loose on a trio of past-Madonna posers; it was clear what Madonna was trying to say. There's only one Queen, and no shaved-head hick is going to take that title away. (That's a Spears reference, for the record.)

New Music: Remix Update

Club music right now...not so hot. DJs, however, seem to be having a lot of fun remixing pop classics.

Remix #1: Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold" by Yelle. Stripping away the addictive chorus, Yelle's replaced the bubblegum for a little alternative Big League chew: "You're hot, hot, hot/Then you're cold, cold, cold/You tease me, tease me, tease me/Sayin' you'll call, call, call." It's not an improvement, necessarily, but the remix brings something fresh (and yes, French) to the pop feast offered by Perry's original. It's like bourbon in a Jell-O cake.

Remix #2: Madonna's "Miles Away" by Johnny Vicious. In contrast to Oakenfold's superior remix of "Give It 2 Me" earlier this year, Vicious has downplayed the vulnerable elements of "Miles Away" in favor of earthy beats and tropical sound effects. In a smart editing move, Vicious didn't remove any of the guitar strumming of the original. So, in a nutshell, Vicious implemented a few light tweaks in the bodice of the original, leaving a slightly more robotic (but nontheless more danceable) version of Madonna's failed second Hard Candy single.

Remix #3: Justin Timberlake's "LoveStoned/I Think She Knows" by Justice. The brizilliant French duo, seemingly unable to craft anything sub-par, took Justin's original--by far the most offbeat of Futuresex/Lovesounds' singles--and transformed the lazy inbetween-chorus valleys with vibrant string sections and a stunning musical breakdown as the finale. (Did that make any sense?) However, Justice outdid themselves with vintage Britney...

Remix #4: Britney Spears' "Me Against the Music" by Justice. Remixes as surprising and revolutionary (in accordance to the original) as Justice's take on "Music" are rare. With anthemic, urgent horn-like synths and breathing-in-reverse effects at every chorus, this is a redeaux only the French could put out. (Teehee!) Britney actually sounds better with a rougher production, with Madonna's section sounding right at home, and it leaves me wondering if hiring Justice as either of their primary producers for their next albums would be a forward-thinking move. For Madonna, a sound like Justice's seems like a natural next step in her evolution into post-apocalyptic football player, but with Britney this should probably stay a one-time deal. It's the best remix of the four, but Britney is sexy; Justice is sexy. Together, they're almost cliche.

Review: Circus, by Britney Spears

Realizing I'm way late on the Britney train, you know I would not be able to resist reviewing Brit's new album. Not only is it a source of massive buzz, but it's an exciting new beginning for Britney, musically--and before I start, I might as well acknowledge I won't be using "Spears" as Brit's designation in this review. Madonna's Madonna, Kanye is Kanye, and Britney is Britney.

Circus is a fun, no-holds-barred pop album. Musically, it is not as addictive as Britney's previous effort, the freakishly appropriate Blackout--she may never again have a song as instantly danceable as "Break The Ice" or as anthemic as "Piece of Me"--but there's no doubting the Princess of Pop has returned in full force, ready [for her puppeteers] to conquer the music world. Or, conquer in the sense that a half-crazy, white trash mother of two can.

Really, the songs on Circus are divided into two categories: pop-orgasm good and shoot-my-ears off bad. The head of the pack, "Kill the Lights," is a tragedy told through curtains of dark lace and some of the best vocal editing since Justin Timberlake's Futuresex/LoveSounds. Oddly, many of the cuts on Circus bring to mind Timberlake's strongest work; "Shattered Glass" contains portions that sound directly lifted off "LoveStoned," while the bass line of "Blur" could be swapped for "What Goes Around/Comes Around" and no one would think twice.

The album contains other obvious inspirations as well. "Lace and Leather," one of the sickest tracks on the album, begins with the same three notes as Madonna's "Dance 2night" off Hard Candy. This doesn't render Circus any less of an album, but it detracts from the overall experience when so many tracks seem bled off the bodies of other great works. The former track, despite its introduction, presents Britney at her sexiest. She's flirty and assertive, singing lyrics that perfectly illustrate the visual scene the producers are painting. "French fingertips/red lips/bitch is dangerous," she purrs, "Cotton candy kiss/can't wait/for my suger rush." (Candy? Really? Madonna alert number two!)

"Unusual You" is one of the few risks on Circus, and whether or not it pays off is up to individual interpretation. Personally, I find it kind of sad, Britney comparing herself to "a boxer in the ring." (Madonna alert number three!) I want happiness for Britney, as does most of the caring public, but I'm not sure she'll ever find it. A love like the kind she sings about in "Unusual You"--angelic, surprising, unworthy love--is something she has shown a knack for avoiding. Production-wise, it serves as a needed break in the loud pop extravaganzas of "If U Seek Amy" and "Shattered Glass," a kind of subdued confessional reminiscent of "Heaven On Earth," one of the few non-bare-it-all tracks on Blackout.

Without a doubt, the most musically, lyrically, vocally unique (and risque) song on Circus is, well, a bonus track. "Phonography" is a nearly flawless pop track, with an ice-cold synth and a roiling vocal sample pushing the TMI boundaries into overdrive. Written about a long distance lover, whom she hopes to keep that way, "Phonography" is just hot; it's "old Britney" by New Britney. Another example of her producers' kitschy use of verbiage, Britney sings (in a stagnant hum that works in context), "I like my Bluetooth, buttons coming loose/I need my hands free/then I let my mind roam, playing with my ring-tone/I've got serivice, you've got service/baby we can talk all night."

"Phonography" is clever. "If U Seek Amy" is clever. Tracks like these make a pop fan hope Britney truly is on her way to becoming The Artist of the New Millenium once again. This album may not fit the bill--"Mmm Papi" and "My Baby" pretty much diminish any hopes of an Oops!...I Did It Again kind of album--but Britney started in this business with the same core idea of beginning with something clever, something that catchtes the listeners' ears. All of Britney's biggest hits were made with metaphor and double entendres. "...One More Time," "Toxic," and "Slave 4 U" utilized a combination of Britney's sublime sexuality (that's the correct usage, by the way) and lyrics that just almost give it to you. Circus appears to be following a similar route, and is leagues better than Blackout.

If there's one thing Circus teaches us as a pop audience, it's "A Coherent Britney is a Better Britney." And a Circus is better than a Blackout.

At this moment...

...I'm thinking Britney Spears' "Circus" (the track, not the album--yet) is one of the best pop tracks I've heard since "Toxic." With a breathy sample as a bass line, a characteristic slowly becoming Britney's signature, the track is consistently surprising. From the initial pitch rise, reminiscent of Madonna's "Miles Away," it's clear Dr. Luke wants to keep it all in the family. Bringing together the best of Katy Perry's crunchy samples off "I Kissed A Girl," the tenacious throbbing of Confessions on a Dance Floor, and even Paris Hilton's redunkulous pop ease, if you have any taste at all, you will hate this track.

But for the rest of us ear candy addicts, "Circus" could not be sweeter. It's better than "Womanizer," easily, and the lyrics are wholly believable: "All eyes on me/ in the center of the ring/ just like a circus."

In other news, I still haven't listened to The Killer's new album. Like, I have owned it for almost a week now--preordered it and everything--but I'm just way to preoccupied with vintage Madonna and Buckcherry's "Crazy Bitch."

Happy late Thanksgiving, btdubs!

Ex-husbands of famous people read The Happiest Activist

Yeah...Carlos Leon, Madonna's Cuban dancer ex, totally stole my look.

He must have been at her show in Houston and saw me grindin' it up. That bastard!

UPDATE: Leon is not the only HA reader. Robert Pattinson, from some vampire movie, must have popped in last week!

Here he is stumbling outside the Chateau Marmont last night. In my look.

Review: 808s & Heartbreak, by Kanye West

God, it has taken long enough.

Just months ago I watched Kanye West jump and groove to Graduation for the Glow In The Dark Tour. How appropriate that his first post-Graduation album is his most mature LP.

Perhaps Mr. West has grown up?

808s & Heartbreak is a monumental work of, as West would put it, pop art. It's instantly likable--give "RoboCop" thirty seconds and see if you aren't hooked--but is, above all, a culturally significant album. As a rapper, West has transformed from "that guy who rocked the VMA's" in 2004 with "Jesus Walks" to "that guy who sings like T-Pain." He has traveled a full arc of musical tone; College Dropout was gritty and eager; Late Registration was pompous and self-praising; Graduation was elegant and frothy; with Heartbreak, Kanye has given us everything. He wants freedom from controlling lovers (the relentless banger "Paranoid") but longs for a family ("Welcome to Heartbreak"). He is thrilled his fans adore him ("Amazing") but, really, just wants to be alone ("Street Lights"). Kanye is, and always will be, an enigma. Very few artists, however, can channel their personal struggles and mysterious personas into believable music.

Playing "RoboCop," easily the most accessible track on the album, to peers this morning, they all thought the same thing: This is a pretty album. It's light and sparse, relying on more traditional instruments (including rap verses) only when Ye is aiming most to please. He plays like he's all strong on his own--just listen to the entire Late Registration album--but he lives for approval. Why else would he regularly update a style blog? Why else would he have exploded after Entertainment Weekly gave him a B+ for his last tour? Why else did he swear off the VMAs forever? And, more telling, why did he return?

Point being, Kanye wants the American audience to like this album. At first listen, "Love Lockdown" sounds self-indulgent, but why can't music be elevated and different at the same time? Usher may have gotten a monster hit out of "Love in this Club," but will Rolling Stone be chronicling that single's rise to fame in ten years? Unless it's remixed by Cut Copy or something, no. Heartbreak is packed with hits. "Amazing," featuring a Young Jeezy verse that balances Ye's muffled vocals, is perfectly suited for radio...in 2012. "Bad News," one of the few slow jams on the entire album, could fit a movie soundtrack-- about robots in love. So, as evidenced by the only moderate success of "Love Lockdown" (built mostly on buzz) and the likely-to-bomb "Heartless"--still one of the strongest tracks--Kanye's got a fantastic pop album with nowhere to go.

Honestly, though, in a radio environment where "Let It Rock" by some guy named Rudolf can climb the charts, why would Kanye want to?

So, maybe Kanye's graduated. Or, at least graduated from his former self. He's recently admitted to an obsession with style and design, and when you combine an obsessive compulsive rapper-slash-vocoderalist (I love it!) with good style...well, you're just short of enlightenment. However, they say a child is the most honest of us all; that, as we age, we gain inhibitions and fears and become self-conscious. Heartbreak is none of these things. It is an uninhibited as that meme with the boy dancing to "Single Ladies." It is as fearless as, well, Kanye West.

In "graduating," Kanye West didn't grow up. He's cut deep to the heart of what makes music good, and what makes an artist exactly that: simplicity. Heartbreak is Kanye's Like A Virgin, his Hot Fuss, his Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. This is his post-Graduation moment, but he's never seemed so young.

Is Katy Perry the next Madonna?

Right now, everyone's "the next Madonna." Lady Gaga, Rihanna, and Britney Spears, the latter of which being the most realistic candidate, have been crowned the New Queens by blogs and newpapers and films and, in Britney's case, lyrically. There's a reason this debate is going on, too--with her last album, Madonna proved she has lasting power unlike what Confessions on a Dance Floor seemed to suggest. She's got radio power. At 50. With kids. And a divorce.

So, really, who's the next Madonna? (True answer: NO ONE! But let's forget that for a second.) In a moment of inspiration, like, three seconds ago, I decided that the wielder of the Madonna torch is Katy Perry. Think about it--how did Madonna start in this business? Stirring up controversy, courting the gay audience, and setting clothing trends. Granted, Madge had a flawless first album, while Perry's is just oookaaaayyy, but still: the amount of public controversy lil' Katy's "Kissed A Girl" caused is kind of remarkable. It's become this litmus test when you meet someone. "Do you like 'Kissed A Girl?' No? Oh, that sucks. [I.e. Well, our friendship is over.]" Girls who like it are either personally self-affirmed or, well, actually into kissing girls, while those who hate it just hate it because it makes them "good" girls.

Who surrounds Perry on her tour? For better or for worse, a bunch of effeminate makeup artists and dancers and stylists. Who happen to be male. What about the trend-setting style? I will be the first to say Perry's no SJP, but I know more than one girl who's bought a short jumpsuit "like Katy Perry!"

This is truth. Eat it. IT'S KRUCHY!!

P.S. Not my image.

Review: The Sticky and Sweet Tour

Madonna is a transcended human; she is beyond labels and above critique. She is a mother, but perhaps a misguided one; she is a wife, but publicly tears her soon-to-be-ex to shreds; she is a woman, but is more domineering, muscular, and offensive than even the most masculine figures in modern culture. She is a humanitarian, but garners nearly $5,000,000 per concert. (hence her Hard Candy alternative persona, "M-Dolla.") So who--or what--is Madonna? Why do I even care?

There's something magnetic about Madonna. I can't explain it in written terms; it takes sweeping hand gestures and a little caffeine. But I was not musically aware of Madonna until this April, where I compared her to "a fine cheese." She is fine but not cheese. Dear Lord, I can't believe I just wrote that.

Fast-forward to November 16th, in Houston, at the The Sticky and Sweet Tour.

Following Hard Candy, an album far inferior to Music and Confessions but a definite slow-burn, expectations of her performance were high. I wanted to witness Madonna's power in action, I wanted to understand her better. Well, she's still an enigma, but maybe that's the point.

Madge appeared on a throne for the opening act of the show, singing "Candy Shop." I get the choice of "Candy" as the opener--"Come on into my store/get up off of your seat, come on onto the dance floor"--but whether it was an effective way to energize the audience, I'm not so sure. She followed that with the disappointing "Beat Goes On" (THERE WAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL!) and an odd but decent version of "Vogue" meshed with the trumpets of "4 Minutes." "Vogue" was a blast, but she disappeared so quickly after the final note that the audience kind of just stood there with eyes glazed over.

It's worth noting that the video interludes--in other words, Madonna's wardrobe changes--were excellent, so there was truly never a moment without stimulation. Especially good was "Get Stupid," where Obama flashed onscreen alongside MLK and JFK (so many Ks), without a bit of irony considering they were both assassinated at the prime of their influence.

The second portion of the show, dubbed "Old School," was fantastic (whew!). She played "Borderline" on a candy-coated electric while jumping rope and wearing the single greatest pair of little red shorts ever invented, died and rose again for "Heartbeat," and in one of the show highlights, semi-raped a bunch of Madonna lookalikes onstage for "She's Not Me." Her voice lowering to a bitter growl, she screamed "Bitch!" and "Wannabe!" to her lookalikes while tearing off their clothes--all classic Madonnawear. There was a sexy bride, a cone-boobed amazonian, and a reformed-pre-Sex-Spanish-influenced-red pantsuit Madonna. (Sorry, there's really no other way to describe it.) "We all know girls like this. You know, the kind that wear your clothes, act like you. F*** your boyfriend."

After a brief repose, Madge rose from the floor on a piano singing "Devil Wouldn't Recognize You," a weak track from Hard Candy. The music was not memorable here, but the effects were stunning--water splashed from screen to screen, swirling up a center screen of tiny digital bulbs around her piano. This led into the weakest portion of the show, "Gypsy," but there was one exception: Madonna gave a beautiful performance of "Miles Away," believably speaking with the audience about her trip to Texas. "I wasn't sure if I wanted to come to Texas this [tour]. I'm kind of glad I came!"

I won't linger on this portion of the show, where she butchered "La Isla Bonita" by mixing it with some random "Fiddler On The Roof"-like dance routine and a Gogol Bordello-inspired dance track called "Dolli Dolli." Yeah, I don't know it either, and yeah, it wasn't that great.

Keep in mind, when Madonna isn't "that great," she's still phenomenal. I was on my feet the entire show, and never once did I feel a tinge of disappointment. I was soaking with sweat by the end, and I would pay double my original ticket price to see her again. The "Gypsy" sequence was just messy, with too many dancers and too many songs mashed into one.

The final concert theme, "Rave," was just that. If you can picture thirty thousand people jumping up and down to "Ray Of Light," laser lights searing the stadium fog and a bass so heavy your beer quakes, you've got a pretty decent idea of the "Rave" sequence.

Madonna had clearly saved the best for last. A more-exciting-live version of "4 Minutes" was the kick-off, followed by the strongest performance of the show, "Like A Prayer." "Prayer" is not my favorite Madonna song by any stretch of the imagination, but in person, it was--buckle up people, it's about to get punny--spiritual. Energetic and (*gulp*) rapturous, the room was on fire. It was electric.

After a bittersweet modified performance of "Hung Up" with electric guitar, Madonna finished on the highest note possible. "Give It 2 Me" was musically alive. M-Dolla flung herself at the center stage, enveloped by her backup dancers in a robotic interpretation of Far Eastern videogaming. That song is hyper, but live? It's almost hard to handle.

The show ended with the entire stadium buzzing. The concert was mind-blowing--there were weak moments, no doubt, but for a 50 year-old pop star, Madonna's on the top of her game. She's authentic and, at least on tour, a tangible icon.

Although, no matter how quickly she gyrates or how many times she mocks Guy Ritchie, she still is and may always be a complete mystery.

Long Live The Queen

Music: Beyonce, Cassius and Madonna's sampling minions

The music market is great right now. Musical variety is here, the big names in L.A. are all releasing records this fall, and the club scene is finally warming up. (Ironically enough, as the actual clubs start losing their drunken patronage.) Beyonce's "If I Were A Boy" is decent enough emopop, but I doubt the release will be followed with serious airplay. It's too similar to what Rihanna has done with "Take A Bow," which was in turn a total ripoff of B's own "Irreplaceable." Then again, maybe the departure from traditional Beyonce R&B/Pop--you know, spasmic, over-the-top faux-female empowerment anthems with blaring horns and whistles--is just what she needs. Another problem going for her is a lack of media exposure; it's not that the paparazzi doesn't want her picture (she's looking great in a bikini again), it's that she and Jay-Z avoid them like the plague. Good for their sanity, but not for B's career. There's a price to pay for no longer being a prominent figure in pop culture. Britney Spears just demonstrated how buzz can lead to success with the so-so "Womanizer" which currently sits at the top spot of the Billboard Hot 100. The only way B can come back in full force is with another "Crazy In Love," not likely considering her first two singles.

In other music news, when I started creating my pre-Madonna "Sticky and Sweet Tour" playlist this morning I was led on an iTunes jungle discovery bonanza, where one song led to another and another and another. "Toop Toop" by Cassius is a fun, grungy electronic track similar in spirit to Kylie Minogue's "2 Hearts" (the best track off last years' X), with pegged-on, blippy effects that feel slapped together. The track has a garageband feel to it, which is simply a statement of opinion--not neccesarily good or bad.

I was also turned on to Fedde Le Grand, an electronic artist who apparently missed his bubble of opportunity a long time ago. I only say this because his latest single was in September of 2007, and in DJ circles you have to come hard and fast to maintain the momentum of one good single. (Justice and Simian Mobile Disco are exceptions to this rule, as their talent far surpasses anything put out by your night-to-night DJs.) Regardless, Le Grand did have two good singles, but his only lasting relevance is Madonna's current tour, where she actually covers his breakout track, "Put Your Hands Up 4 Detroit." The song is a blast, with unpredictable synths and Moby-esque vocal samples. The electronic elements are handled in a innovative way that hints at the curiosity of the DJ, with ups and downs and a fun little series of saxophone samples that are instantly recognizable (despite my never hearing them before). Le Grand copies his own brilliance--take that last word with a whole spoonfull of salt--in his follow-up, "Let Me Think About It." Once again channeling Moby, Le Grand tries his hand at funk-electro, to mixed results. Imagine the seuxality of SMD's "Hustler" mixed in with "Put Your Hands Up." It's great for the two minutes it plays, but beyond that I'll stick with the electronica champs, thank you.

The Killers have a new single...

...and my life is complete.

Thanks to the man I hate, Perez Hilton, I got to hear their brand new single, "Human," and it's exactly what I wanted out of the next Killers album. Extremely danceable with a lyricism similar to Sam's Town--I love it. It's produced by Stuart Price, the mastermind behind Madonna's disco fantasy Confessions on a Dance Floor. It's not "The River Is Wild" good, its not "Change Your Mind" good--it's "Jenny Was A Friend of Mine" good. (For the record, "Change Your Mind" is a far superior record than "Friend of Mine").

Looking forward to Day & Age.

(Sounds like the title of a Hercules & Love Affair album; let's pray it's not)

First Day Back Soundtrack

My first day at the University of Texas began this morning in a rush for the bus at Far West Boulevard. I missed my second cup of coffee and even a decent goodbye--but so far, I'm feeling right at home.

Of course, a seventeen-minute bus ride means only one thing: plenty of time to listen to new music.

Spoon's "Don't You Evah" is a great pick-me-up, with "Nothing Fails" off Madonna's American Life a nice mantra for the upcoming semester. The lyrics are all about love and crap--not that love is crap--but the title itself is where I place my hope...

To get in the UT mindset, Andrew Bird's "Fake Palindromes" and Bjork's "Wanderlust" inject a little weird into my ride before stepping onto Guadelupe, where grown men quite literally ride around on bikes in red strappy thongs. That's underwear, not sandals.

Today is a great day for music, and that is because of only one album: Solange's Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams. Review forthcoming...

Mad Style: Old Music rocks, TIME Magazine editors think they know music

Old music has come back from the past to gang bang my iPod. "Old" meaning songs and artists who rose to fame before my musical maturation--my musical puberty, if you will. Naturally, Madonna is one of these artists, and that is not to say she isn't relevant today, something that is most certainly debatable, but her catalogue of hit songs goes back almost three decades. That's a lot to dig through.

I'm always writing about Moby and his ability to sense trends before they hit the airwaves, but no one read the musical forecast like Madonna in her prime. Madonna's "Vogue" is a track so future-conscious it's hard to believe it was written and produced before I was even one year old. As a writer, Madonna isn't given enough credit, but with the exception of "She's Not Me," Hard Candy doesn't really warrant any kind of writing praise. But her "old" stuff? It's brilliant. The most amazing thing about "Vogue" isn't the production, which arguably paved the way for hundreds of piano-driven dance tracks (ex. Moby's "Disco Lies"), but the cultural influence and style set forth by Madonna in the late eighties, with "Vogue" the primary vehicle of that influence. The track's echoed vocals and bridge--where Madonna famously name drops like, I don't know, every important actor and actress of the pre-Beatles era--could be the soundtrack to any Gap or American Apparel ad, or even remixed and rerecorded by Rihanna to top the charts. And I'm not suggesting this as some distant New York Times writer whose job requires them to make empty predictions--I'm dead serious, as both a fan of Rihanna and an active observer of pop radio. By observer, however, I mean that literally: if a doctor doesn't have to test every prescription drug he hands out, surely a music blogger doesn't have to listen to Kiss FM to understand what the pop audience craves.

And speaking of distant music writers, TIME magazine wrote an article in this week's issue about the "songs of the summer." "Disturbia" is number two on their list. Let us recap: Rihanna released "Disturbia" little over a month ago, where it received a moderate amount of buzz but never charted well because of "Take A Bow" essentially raping the charts multiple times (it hit No. 1 on Billboard twice, before Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl") Just last week "Disturbia" hit number one, which is surprising to me considering how aurally annoying the song really is. The point here being, how can TIME crown Rihanna's "Disturbia" the song of the summer when the track just hit radio three weeks ago? The answer is, they can't. Of course, the actual "queen" of the summer, if we're going to use that term, goes to Perry and "I Kissed A Girl." (Considering how many times I've written "Grill" in place of "Girl," I should just rewrite the song for her.) But of course the politically correct (LOLZ) TIME denounces "Kissed" because it offends both gays and straights, and "no one really listens to it." And that's why it was number one for almost two months. Thanks TIME, for another well-written article by your musical monkey men with their inability to admit how much they listen to "I Kissed A Girl" in their cage at the zoo.

I'm pretty sure I just wore myself out. Janet Jackson, Salt-N-Pepa ("Push It" may be the sexiest song ever produced), old Kylie Minogue, Boston, and even Smashmouth are beginning to tighten to gap in the race for my taste. Sadly, though, I still choose The New over The Good more often than not, simply because I'm addicted to the former--yes, I really am that shallow. But for now I'll enjoy "Vogue" and "La Isla Bonita" and "Smokin'" and the rest of my pre-pubic tracks while radio continues to devolve into a static blob of Timbaland beats and Akon hooks.