Music: Long overdue

So, a new music post has been forthcoming for about...two weeks. Yes, I posted on Beyonce and Fedde Le Grand, but that doesn't even scratch the surface of the best new music this fall.

Firstly, faux-lesbian duo t.A.T.u. released a new album a few weeks ago, and while they are essentially the most irrelevant pop artists on the face of the earth--hell, they aren't even popular in Russia anymore--they do have a half-decent single off Happy Smiles, unanimously voted by myself as the most inane album title of the decade.

"Fly On The Wall" is a well-produced, tonally-dated track about a male lover "naked in the shower" and sleeping alone and...you get it. It's Clay Aiken's haneous "Invisible" with an injection of squealy sex appeal. How ironic, though, that both Aiken and the t.A.T.u. girls faked their sexual orientations for the majority of their career?

Anyways, the track has the typical bleeps and boops you'd expect from an irrelavent Russian pop duo from the 2001 era, with a bit of muffled buzzing--you know, the kind Timbaland used in 50 Cent's "Ayo Technology"--as a failed attempt at modernity. Overall, it's worth a look, if only out of curiousity at how these girls still have a job.

I have been successful in resisting the appeal of Lady Gaga, a pop figure of far too much style (like, enough to gag anyone with a hint of sartorial instinct) and shockingly little substance, until now. Her debut The Fame is of no interest to me (see the HA comparison on the right); the track "Paparazzi," however, is fun enough to warrant the 3:28 seconds it takes to listen. Gaga has an annoying, shrill voice, but "Paparazzi" sounds like a decent remix of Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone." I use that comparison loosely--there are no lyrical similarities--but the urgent tone is there. I'll be honest, this track impresses me, so if Gaga can make an album of pop this accessible (and without references to anything dirty, rich or beautiful ever, ever again), perhaps I'm not taking her seriously enough.

Now, time for WHATS GOOD! Kylie Minogue, the undisputed queen of all that is ridiculous and tedious about pop music--in other words, all that is not Madonna! ( n00b obesss1on LOLZ)--has a few hidden treasures in her past album music vault. For the record, this vault is rainbow colored, with ill-placed jewels and paper mache unicorns pasted on the lid. But enough about the vault.

"Burning Up," from 2001's Fever, is beyond the brink of fun songs. Like, beyond beyond. Celebratory? Check. Unabashedly saccherine? Check. Nonsense lyrics? Check. Gay club play potential? Check. It must be EUROPOP!

Beginning with a light guitar strum and the ubiquitous "disco" reference, Kylie explodes with a two-word chorus extraganza. And get this: the beat builds. Not in any clever way, but in the expected, Cascada-esque "bum. bum. bum bum bum bum bum bum!" sunny days ahead kind of way. It's a blast.

I highly, highly recommend "Burning Up," if not only to own a slice of music so sweet it could literally give you a cavity. An ear cavity.