Shakira's Body: Altered for American version of "Loca?"

Shakira's new single, "Loca," is one of her best efforts in recent memory, as is the album it's selected from, but I am disturbed by a difference I noticed in the American and Spanish-language versions of the single's music video.

The Spanish version:

And the English version:

Is it just me or did Shakira lose a few pounds between video shoots? Oh, wait, that's impossible; it's the SAME SHOOT. So, what, we American's can't handle a beautiful woman? She has to be photoshopped ANOREXIC to be objectified? NOT FAIR.

Art in iTunes

So I designed this album art for a really talented friend of mine, Jennifer Sullivan, and it released on iTunes this week! Super cool, even though it's my worst work yet. But she looks gorgeous and the EP is fantastic. Everyone buy it here, if you like Norah Jones and Fiona Apple.

New Music: Kylie Minogue's "Outta My Way"

I have been obsessed--literally--with Kylie Minogue's hot-as-a-flaming-rainbow track "Get Outta My Way" since late May. That's four straight months of repeat plays. I dance to it, run to it, drive to it, dress to it, dream to it. It's a bubblegum anthem without any of the deep stuff that so easily wears us thin. (Some popstars take themselves too seriously when they reach Kylie's age. Case in point: The "introspective songwriting" of the American Life album.)

The preview for the video is below. This is major.

I Pity The Haters

The most intense and divisive conversations I have with people nearly always begin with, "I have a song I want to play you."

Pop music is a litmus test in the process of young adult coolness authenticity: "You listen to Bon Iver?" [You're cool.] "You listen to Kylie Minogue?" [You're lame, unintelligent, out-of-the-loop, immature, self in-actualized.]

Essentially, pop music can be enjoyed by girls aged in single digits, so if you listen to pop music you have the taste of a nine year-old. Of course, there are exceptions. Lady Gaga, for instance, has been scratched off the Guilty Pleasure list by Rolling Stone and Pitchfork, the birthplaces of indie cred and tectonic divergence zones for what is and is not acceptable to have on your iPod. Other exceptions involve music sites like Hype.fm and Pandora. ("If Taylor Swift plays in my Pheonix channel, I can't help that. I only have so many songs I can skip per hour!")

You can also be so out you're in, like Fergie. I'm not sure how that works, but everyone loves Fergie. I know cokeheads and band agents and American Apparel employees alike who will lose their shit when "Glamorous" comes on. "This is my jam!"

The irony is that many artists with a massive "underground" (i.e. depressed hipster) following like Uffie have pop sensibilities stronger than major aboveground musicians. "DVNO" by Justice is more radio-friendly than anything Gwen Stefani ever released, and she has multiple #1's and a legion of teenage fans.

Acceptable music acts like The Gossip, Tokyo Police Club, and Surfer Blood are the aural equivalent of nails being repeatedly driven into my skull. If I was a cave man, I'd love the grating chorus line of "Keep The Car Running" by Arcade Fire, but I heard Britney Spears' "Crazy" as a preteen inside a Chuck E. Cheese and know that pop music can change your life.

Pop music doesn't alter your life in the same way Fiona Apple does, however. Pop music is so frothy you don't even need to filter the lyrics. With our intellectual webs disabled, pop music hits directly at our pleasure (or pain) centers. The sensation can be so real even the most jaded of hipsters will, I guarantee you, dance when "Rude Boy" plays. They will belt out Mariah's "We Belong Together" in private. They will play Katy Perry's newest single, "Teenage Dream," and tear up in their rooms reflecting on high school memories.

"Teenage Dream" is a perfect example of Pop That Changes Your Life: "You say I'm pretty without any makeup on/...let's go all the way tonight." Damn. Have we not all lived through this? Why cast hate on a story told through this medium? As if hipsters speak more eloquently than most pop music is sung. "You make me/ feel like I'm living a/ teenage dream." There's no pretense. Come as you are, listeners, because we've all been teenagers and you don't need a degree from Columbia and a longtime pretend relationship with "a fashion designer from Brooklyn" to appreciate the first time you woke up and realized you were a little less innocent than you were the day before.

I pity anyone who can't appreciate the sugar rush of Kylie Minogue's "Get Out of My Way" or the electric bounce of Leighton Meester's "Your Love's A Drug." A good pop song, on first listen, can be better than sex. Just as pop can give life, however, pop also taketh away; I remember listening to Usher's "Love In This Club" (a painfully mediocre pop song, really) in the car for the first time and nearly getting into a wreck due to my temporary ecstasy.

We cheat pop music out of whatever potential it has to effect people when we label it the way we do; "deep art" can often be even more transparent than pop, which has a sense of irony and is rarely serious. There's more humor in Perry's "California Gurls" than in any song The Heartless Bastards ever conceived, more tangible emotion in Robyn's "Should Have Known" than any sculpture in the MoMA. (This may or may not be an exaggeration.)

I can't convince anyone to like pop music. You understand the appeal or you don't. However, like someone born with a poor sense of smell can never understand the appeal of French food, I can only try my best not to rub it in.

Lady Gaga's "Alejandro"

Gaga's new video has been on the air for less than an hour and "LADY GAGA OFFENSIVE VIDEO" headlines are already flowing like the freshly spilt tears of Pope Benedict XVI.

When something is offensive it must provoke and upset not by default but by intent, so do not mistake Lady Gaga and Steven Klein as accidentally ruffling the alms-paid-for feathers of the Catholic church. In a perfect world, or just an educated world, the word "offensive" would never coincide with a comment about art. Art is supposed to be offensive and I dare anyone to name a piece of art, whether a play or a song or a sculpture made of discarded placenta, that gave a distinct emotional impression without provocation.

But controversy aside, the video is just okay. Which, in the context of the video's pop cultural importance, is a fairly brutal criticism. "Alejandro" is, after all, a much-anticipated collaboration between one of the most talented American photographers and the most exciting musician in the world as of 2010 and yet, there isn't much of a story or even anything remotely pleasurable to look at. What I saw was a dark, unsurprising collage of interesting (but ultimately--and this is the worst part--pointless) imagery that would be better suited for the centerfold of W or Arena and not reeled into a projector and placed onscreen.

There are a few amazing moments. Near the end of the video, with Gaga standing alone in what seems like the demure outfit your salsa instructor would wear at any small-town ballet studio, there are sparks of real inspiration. Marching and snapping her alabaster fingers, she is defiant and beautiful. The following dance sequence is another strong moment, and the story of the track itself--modern women, the struggle and judgement of society towards homosexual men, and the torturous relationships between these entities--becomes at least somewhat apparent. With her gay soldiers marching at her side, preparing for their incoming battle against the brilliant critiques of Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck, she transcends her human body as Lady Gaga and, in a move that is becoming increasingly easy for her, transforms into a kind of religious icon, an image of something otherworldly. The video ends with her being obsessively disrobed and tossed about, finally exposing her breasts to her acolytes. This is disturbing, but fame is disturbing, and when interpreted this way, the lyrics of "Alejandro" seem disturbing.

Hopefully her next effort, for "Monster" I presume, will be more original. Gaga's already worshiped, but pop-cultural holiness requires a few miracles now and then.

And, as a big fan of Steven Klein, I couldn't help but notice the similarities between the video and a past shoot of Klein's for French Vogue in 2009, picture below. Even the haircuts on the male dancers are identical. Copying your art for the Queen of Pop? Now that's "offensive."

Baptism/Cheerleaders

I haven't posted anything about music in months. Or, like, years.

But sometimes you have two diet cokes and five cups of coffee before noon and, all of a sudden, writing a few words on new music is more an obligation than a distraction.

On the whole, the pop music world is sort of at a standstill. The invention of Lady Gaga has placed a lot of new artists immediately on the shelf of Been There, Done That. The Gaga effect is so clear, songs like "OMG" by Usher are actually getting airplay. Actually hitting #1 on Billboard. Actually being illegally downloaded. Like tasting a filet mignon and being sentenced to Wendy's square meat patties for all of eternity, we as a pop audience have to dig a bit for anything even relatively tasty.

The food metaphors are a perfect lead-in to "Treats" by Sleigh Bells. Seriously, what the fuck is this? The duo--composed of some death metal musician and a girl group dropout--has created some exceptionally bizarre music. The album is aggressive, almost scary, with crunchy guitar sound effects and bass hits that sound more like boulders colliding in low gravity than an 808. I normally don't listen to "alternative"

(Sorry, a shudder just ripped through my body, sending me awkwardly to the floor of Thunderbird Coffee. Caffeine effect?)

As I was saying, Sleigh Bells is not my usual fare, but the songs are irresistible. My favorite track is "Riot Rhythm," probably because of the cheerleader chants. I just love cheerleaders. If Sleigh Bells had an owl on their album cover I probably wouldn't like them so much, but I continually picture the old McQueen ads and, as I grow deaf blasting "Tell 'Em" and yelling out my car window, I picture her doing cheers and flirtatiously (i.e. sluttily) dancing to the industrial sound of Treats.

The new Crystal Castles is pretty sick, too. "Baptism" is my favorite of the new tracks. I think this is a record that, if Lindsay Lohan had any foresight or taste or culture, would have been wise of her to collaborate on. "Baptism," and the album's lead single, "Empathy," are the kind of accessible underground that propelled Justice to international fame. (Or, at the very least, Youtube fame.) Ambitious, not so much--the album is standard CC fare--but it's enjoyable if you aren't in your room with the lights out.

May's seen more than a few killer singles. Kelis' "Flesh Tone" has already unloaded "Fourth of July," "Brave," and impossible-to-hate "Emancipate Yourself," Kelis' answer to Madonna's "Sorry." B.o.B. is boring as hell, but "Magic" (featuring the insanely sexy vocals of Rivers Cuomo, who is hot by rule of his moniker alone) is bouncy fun without any JoBros musical reference.

Xtina's "WooHoo" is one of those embarrassing tracks you can't imagine being approved ("you don't need a plate/just ya face/ahh") and Keane still sucks ass. No surprise there; being relegated to soft-rock radio play in Applebees is a sure sign you should never have a rapper featured on your album. Like, ever.

To conclude, I recommend that no one ever listens to "Freaky" by Koda Kumi. It is horrible and I somehow bought it on iTunes and have no recollection of the purchase. Don't suffer with me.

Miley Cyrus

I cannot help it. I love Miley Cyrus.

I haven't listened to any of her music, aside from "Party In The USA," and I've never seen any of her movies nor her television show. The only Miley I know is a Hollywood brat who speaks with what sounds like a half-eaten Quizno's in her mouth and walks like she's way hotter than she is. (And who wouldn't with the guys she gets? Justin Gaston? He may be annoying and vapid but look at his...er, cheekbones!)

Last summer, a time of post-Paris depression and heartache, had one bright moment, and that was The Kid's Choice Awards. Miley Cyrus pole-danced to what would soon become one of my favorite songs of 2009, and it moved me. She made me wish I was straight just so I could lust after her properly. Miley isn't Hannah Montana. She is a young, virginal temptress and I will lap up any drops of pop culture she drools onto the public consciousness.

Since TKCA, she's gotten a tattoo as a seventeen year old, dirty danced (well) on a 44 year old man in front of her family, and literally cannot be seen without her hotpants and Fry's. The "Party In The USA" vid should have been evidence enough that she was taking the non-Hillary Duff route to long-lasting fame, and even if I'm the only fan left, I will be there when she takes her Lindsay Lohan tumble into cactus.

Here's to you, Miley. Hopefully I can dirty dance with you sometime. Perhaps to "Can't Be Tamed."

xoxo

Summer LITERALLY starts NOW

I love everything about this.

http://www.katyperry.com/

10 Happiest Albums of the Decade

Two-thousand through 2010 was a thrilling decade for entertainment. Videogames continually defied storytelling expectation, film delivered both brains and brawn (albeit more clumsily), television consistently impressed both the public (the behemoth that is American Idol) and critics (Big Love), and novels like and Away and The Post Birthday World proved great authors still exist. The most creative growth, however, took place in the realm of music. From the anthem pep of the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Stadium Arcadium (2006) to Britney Spears' darkly futuristic pop in Blackout (2007), Shania Twain's genre-bending Up! (2002) and the solemn free-by-download In Rainbows by Radiohead (2007), music in the 2000s was as diverse as it was frighteningly similar. Shimmering electro-pop (Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor, 2005) and slinky throwback (Solange's Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams, 2008) were trends both widespread and pervasive, from superficial pop to underground hip-hop. But ten albums stand out in my mind as excellent, innovative from a creative standpoint and, as is most important to The Happiest Activist, a hell of a fun listen.

10. Kings of Leon, Only by the Night (2008)


















It's rumored Caleb Followill wrote Only in a single night, beginning with the haunting, desperate "Closer," about a vampire looking to feed. This is not their Happiest record of the decade, but the general tone and musicality of the album wins with major style points.

Happiest Track: "Revelry"


9. Sam Sparro, Sam Sparro (2008)


















Sparro's debut is unabashed 80's-style pop, but occasionally-deep lyrical content appears when least expected.

Happiest Track: "Too Many Questions"


8. Robyn, Robyn (2008)

















Simple, perfect pop.

Happiest Track: "Handle Me"


7. Feist, Let It Die (2004)

















Happiest Track: "Inside and Out"


6. Lady Gaga, The Fame Monster (2009)
















I was tempted to rank this higher on the list--no other female pop record was quite as fun in the 2000s--but the album is still fresh.

Happiest Track: "Bad Romance"


5. The Postal Service, Give Up (2003)

















Possibly also the Happiest Album Art Award?

Happiest Track: "Nothing Better"


4. Lily Allen, Alright, Still (2006)


















Lily Allen was and still is the most believable pop music brat. And her brand of humor has been copied again and again...(Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Kate Nash...lot's of K's, for some reason)

Happiest Track: "Knock 'Em Out"


3. Fiona Apple, Extraordinary Machine (2005)


















Happiest Track: "Better Version of Me"


2. The Killers, Hot Fuss (2004)


















There are a lot of faux-Brit rockers in the music world, but none as slick, sexual or pared down as Brandon Flowers and his less-relevant band members.

Happiest Track: "Smile Like You Mean It"


1. Amy Winehouse, Back to Black (2006)


















Cutting selections from this list--which began much larger than the ten you see here--took a lot of careful consideration and research. I wanted to include a Madonna album, simply for the impact she's had on my life in the past decade, but no single album is better than the above ten (2000's Music came close). I also wanted to throw in Rihanna's Rated R (2009), which is altogether a better record than The Fame Monster but, let's all be honest, the Lady deserves a spot here. There were a hundred others--Shakira (for She Wolf, 2009) and John Mayer (Continuum, 2006), M.I.A. (Kala, 2007) and even electro-pop goddess Annie for the dazzling, whirling disco of Anniemal (2004). But when I had to make a choice for Happiest album, there was no doubt in my mind. Amy Winehouse is a legend in the making. She has a voice without peer and an ability to write lyrics as sharp as shattered glass--and as heartbreaking as the worst breakup you've ever been through. Paired with Mark Ronson's addictive beats and as-of-yet-unmatched talent at mimicking the rasp of vintage recordings, one can only hope her heart is broken again. And that's black.

Happiest Track (of the Decade): "Back to Black"

Black Eyed Peas' "Alive"

Why do the Black Eyed Peas even pretend Fergie is not their star? She carried the hooks for "Don't Phunk With My Heart," "Don't Lie," "Shut Up," "Where Is The Love?", and "My Humps." Seriously. will.i.am's production may be top-notch, but this group is nothing without Fergie's signature rasp. Or, signature growl. Or signature vocal personality.

Fergie's a vocalist-of-all-trades. And Fergie's importance is evident in both of the BEP's new singles. "Imma Be" is a blast--leagues better than the atrocious "Boom Boom Pow"--with excellent base and drum work. (Shockingly subtle for a will.i.am production.) But Fergie's opening rap, complete with the quintessential Fergie Ferg and "hips" references, saves the track from sinking into a safe pocket musically.

"Alive," assumedly the third(-ish) single off the yet-to-be-released The E.N.D., surpasses any previous BEP efforts since "My Humps." The chorus is derivative lyrically--no surprise for the Peas--but the production here is superb. "Alive" opens with a piano-driven melody, and as the track builds, the piano chords are replaced with vibrant synths and increased vocoder use. It's incredibly underplayed; when any BEP song peaks during an electronic organ solo, you know there is a good deal of innovation at work.

The Sad Truth About Brooke Hogan

This pic tells you all you need to know.

Music Update: It's shiny

Annie. Oh, Annie. What is going on in your world? One day you're signed to Universal, releasing weak-ass singles and dying your hair an increasingly lighter shade of blond, and the next time I look you're releasing weak-ass singles without Universal. Oh, well. The Old Annie may be gone, but New Annie still has something to offer.

"Anthonio," off Annie's delayed and likely inferior sophomore album Don't Stop--it's gotta be real, it's even got cover art!--is a blitzy, synth-filled track high on lyrical drama and low on originality. It's a step up over "I Know Ur Girlfriend Hates Me," a song I covered last summer, but that's like saying Lindsay Lohan is a step up over Hilary Duff; one is just a bit more exciting.

Now, as the Megan Fox to the Duffs and Lohans of this post, a friend of mine recently turned me onto the best DJ I've heard in 2009, a Brit named George. George Lenton, that is! Apparently new to the international scene, Lenton has one thing most "famous" (a.k.a. sell-out) DJs like Seamus Haji and even the Justice duo have not: a fresh perspective. Remixed tracks like Bob Marley's "Island in the Sun"--transformed by Lenton from stoner jam into dizzying dance track at just the right tempo--and MGMT's "Weekend Wars," you'll gladly sacrifice your car speakers for Lenton's amorphic beats.

He's got some nice original work, too, like "Refresh," the track Paul Oakenfold wished his Brittany Murphy disaster "Faster Kill Pussycat" had been. "Your Love," another throbbing club track, is his most traditional but also his dirtiest; the bass is sketchy and rough, but the piano bars throughout the track keep it accessible. He's remixed Yelle and a few more obscure artists, but "Island in the Sun" is his most surprising and most danceable selection off his recent EP. You can check him out here, and as a gift to my readers, a link to "Island in the Sun."

...and "Refresh"...and "Your Love"...and "Weekend Wars"...

Black Eyed Peas' "The E.N.D."

The album cover for the BEP's new album is really neat conceptually. Individual images of all four members were digitally transposed over each other and formed this one, all-encompassing face. Great concept.

You can see the hints of femininity (Fergie) and masculinity. Hopefully the album is as cutting-edge as their cover, and hopefully nothing like "Boom Boom Pow."

Ciara's "Love Sex Magic"

We've all heard it. Justin Timber--er, I mean Ciara's "Love Sex Magic," a sequel of sorts to JT's "SexyBack." (But in the musical vein of "Sexy Ladies.") The song is just above mediocre, not to say I haven't been obsesses with it for a month, but the video is truly stellar. It's a Gaga-Beyonce hybrid, but damn...Ciara is literally sizzling in it.

I've changed my mind

The GaGa is alright after all.

Kate Earl

An artist I've actually kept up with for six years. Finally a sophomore album! To be released at the perfect time!

More of Kate Earl after the jump.

Update

Feist's Let It Die is the perfect soundtrack for a day like this.

Over the past few weeks, my perspective on life's altered a little bit. I'm still music obsessed, though, and I still love to blog, so I'll be sure to get on that ASAP. But something's different, better.

The new website is finished, I just have to publish.

(It's so easy to fall out of habits...and fall into them!)

Keep checking this blog for the link to the NEW blog!

Thanks,

Dustin

HappiestList 2K8: Number #2 & #1

#1: MGMT's "Time To Pretend"
When the new year rolled around, what was the first track I listened to? (Honestly, it was the Kaskade remix of "Womanizer," but let's skip over that) It was MGMT's "Time To Pretend," their third European single and the song most applicable to the life of a young student. Off Oracular Spectacular, a psychedelic exercise in truth-telling, "Time To Pretend" cuts straight to the heart of life.

With the exception of Death Cab for Cutie's "Passenger Seat" and John Mayer's "Stop This Train," no song heightens my emotional senses like "Time To Pretend." It is an anthem of feeling, a confession of how we live our lives: "This is our decision, to live fast and die young/ we've got the vision, now let's have some fun/ yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do? / get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?"

We don't all do lines of coke under the Eiffel tower, or marry supermodels, or sail to islands on our private yachts, but neither do Andrew Vanwyngarden or Ben Goldwasser. MGMT is all about the big reveal, and the big reveal is...they're the real deal. (Wow, too many "eals." This would have been worse had my favorite song been "Electric Feel" instead)

So there you have it. The Happiest of 2k8. Nothing--not the Gap's Fall line, not Gears of War 2, not Britney Spears' managers--was, well, better than MGMT and "Time To Pretend."

#2: Madonna

For someone as obsessed as I am with the Queen, you'd imagine she would be the Happiest of 2k8, not number two! But it is what it is, and while Madge had an amazing year, she is not Andrew Vanwyngarden.

In 2k8, Madonna stuck a needle in Justin Timberlake's ass, was inducted into the Rock and Roll hall of fame, released a few amazing singles (and a half-baked, half-great album), began and ended the highest-grossing tour in history, left her husband and $75 million of her own estate, and in the most cougar-like of moves, is now dating the much younger Yankees star Alex Rodriguez.

I'm not sure if Madonna can 'stick it out' (LOLZ) forever, but for 2k8, she proved to women (and men) everywhere that people's expectations have no bearing on your potential to succeed. There was a single moment on her Sticky & Sweet tour, during her performance of "She's Not Me," where Madonna unbridled her sanity and let loose on a trio of past-Madonna posers; it was clear what Madonna was trying to say. There's only one Queen, and no shaved-head hick is going to take that title away. (That's a Spears reference, for the record.)

HappiestList 2K8: Number #5, #4, and #3

#5: Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama's cool and all, but she has not been bestowed this mighty honor--one of the Happiest of 2k8--just because she's 'cool.' M-Bama is the Happiest because she is married to a President with benefits. America's changing for the better (like, way better), and while we are all blessed enough to be alive to watch the transformation, M-Bama's got the best seat in the house.

Oh, and there's this:

#4: Sam Sparro

Sam Sparro is an enigma. A gay ex-soul singer son of two preachers from Australia, there are so many adjectives applicable to his description--sexual, effervescent, genuis--there aren't enough descriptions in my vocabulary to describe him. Impressive production qualities aside, his debut Sam Sparro created its own disco vernacular: the ominous single "Black and Gold," the sparkling dance track "Cut Me Loose"--cuts that speak directly to the spirits of the young and the restless. Sparro's also become somewhat of an icon, with a personality ill-fitting any stereotype. If I may be childish for one moment, (LOLZ) the one flaw in Sparro is his horrible style. Neon is sooo 2k7. Agreed?

For a full review of Sam Sparro, click here.


#3: Preps

It was a good year for the preps. No, the preps aren't some alt-indie folk band or a new STD (or is it?). I mean what I say. Sorors, fratties, rich white kids and Ivy League types all benefited from 2k8. The election of BaROCK-N-RObama the sole exception, the cult of being preppy has once again ascended the pop culture ladder and now sits proudly on the peak. Why, you ask? Why, because the alts and the emos have lost their sting. What is 'mnstrm' is now what is 'alt.' So what's "alt" now? How can one differentiate themselves from the herds of American Apparel zombies?

Throw on a sweater, pull up some khakis and kick off your Toms. If you're a girl, you've got only one clothing option: Nike running shorts, a teeshirt that makes you look rich ('I <3>) and nike running shorts. For evening, swap out the shorts for black tights that end mid-calf and a pair of brown Uggs. I promise you'll feel better. Don't believe "prep" is the Happiest of 2k8/possibly the Happiest of 2k9? Two words: Gossip Girl.

You're reading the blog of a guy who bought his first pair of Sperry's last night. Prepare yourselves, people, for the altapocalypse has begun.

Creepy, cool, or wack?

Mickey Avalon. Can't figure him out. I like "Jane Fonda" and "My Dick," but neither blow my mind.

Is he brilliant? Am I just not getting it?

I'm actually kind of upset at myself. A few months ago my friends were inviting me to see him live and I didn't go because I'd never heard of him. He's an ex-drug dealer/prostitute/orthodox Jew, reasons enough to see him live--music or not.