Rihanna

A few nights ago I saw Rihanna in concert. Her performances were fiery, angry. She was believable as a whip-toting badass, strutting onstage in thigh-high hooker boots and chain-mail hosiery, a vision of 21st Century femininity: I'm sexy, but don't touch me. It was a drastic change from her opening show for Kanye West in 2008, which I was also lucky enough to witness.

When I saw her at Kanye's Glow In The Dark Tour, I wrote, "No amount of costume changes or stage dancers can make up for [Rihanna's] obvious lack of hip-hop credibility." How amazing, then, that she arrives onstage in 2010 riding on the barrel of a hot-pink tank blaring lyrics about how hard the game has transformed her.

I'm a huge fan of her last album. Looking back on her ranking on my Happiest Albums of the decade list last December, I should have added Rated R to the top ten; with it's perfectly coalesced emotional ingredients--defiant anger, scorned-girl brattiness, heart-wrenching sadness and reverse-cowgirl sexuality--and admittedly addictive singles (namely "Rude Boy," easily among my favorite songs by Rihanna), Rated R was a near-perfect mainstream pop album.

Somehow, though, a lot of listeners find Rihanna phony and her lyrics empty. Even Pitchfork, the only music review website with any credibility, called her new direction "expected" and unoriginal. See, that's just sad. Christina Aguilera may have released a defiant second album, and Janet may have The Velvet Rope, but to say Rihanna's bitter verses are expected is offensive to female musicians everywhere. Drake just recently released an album full of self-conscious admittances and crumbling-ego confessions, yet no one pointed out the obvious comparisons to every single Kanye West album. Do you want a full album of "Pon De Replays?" Because I will choose "Rockstar 101" over anything on A Girl Like Me or Music of the Sun.

Oh, and there's this.

10 Happiest Albums of the Decade

Two-thousand through 2010 was a thrilling decade for entertainment. Videogames continually defied storytelling expectation, film delivered both brains and brawn (albeit more clumsily), television consistently impressed both the public (the behemoth that is American Idol) and critics (Big Love), and novels like and Away and The Post Birthday World proved great authors still exist. The most creative growth, however, took place in the realm of music. From the anthem pep of the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Stadium Arcadium (2006) to Britney Spears' darkly futuristic pop in Blackout (2007), Shania Twain's genre-bending Up! (2002) and the solemn free-by-download In Rainbows by Radiohead (2007), music in the 2000s was as diverse as it was frighteningly similar. Shimmering electro-pop (Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor, 2005) and slinky throwback (Solange's Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams, 2008) were trends both widespread and pervasive, from superficial pop to underground hip-hop. But ten albums stand out in my mind as excellent, innovative from a creative standpoint and, as is most important to The Happiest Activist, a hell of a fun listen.

10. Kings of Leon, Only by the Night (2008)


















It's rumored Caleb Followill wrote Only in a single night, beginning with the haunting, desperate "Closer," about a vampire looking to feed. This is not their Happiest record of the decade, but the general tone and musicality of the album wins with major style points.

Happiest Track: "Revelry"


9. Sam Sparro, Sam Sparro (2008)


















Sparro's debut is unabashed 80's-style pop, but occasionally-deep lyrical content appears when least expected.

Happiest Track: "Too Many Questions"


8. Robyn, Robyn (2008)

















Simple, perfect pop.

Happiest Track: "Handle Me"


7. Feist, Let It Die (2004)

















Happiest Track: "Inside and Out"


6. Lady Gaga, The Fame Monster (2009)
















I was tempted to rank this higher on the list--no other female pop record was quite as fun in the 2000s--but the album is still fresh.

Happiest Track: "Bad Romance"


5. The Postal Service, Give Up (2003)

















Possibly also the Happiest Album Art Award?

Happiest Track: "Nothing Better"


4. Lily Allen, Alright, Still (2006)


















Lily Allen was and still is the most believable pop music brat. And her brand of humor has been copied again and again...(Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Kate Nash...lot's of K's, for some reason)

Happiest Track: "Knock 'Em Out"


3. Fiona Apple, Extraordinary Machine (2005)


















Happiest Track: "Better Version of Me"


2. The Killers, Hot Fuss (2004)


















There are a lot of faux-Brit rockers in the music world, but none as slick, sexual or pared down as Brandon Flowers and his less-relevant band members.

Happiest Track: "Smile Like You Mean It"


1. Amy Winehouse, Back to Black (2006)


















Cutting selections from this list--which began much larger than the ten you see here--took a lot of careful consideration and research. I wanted to include a Madonna album, simply for the impact she's had on my life in the past decade, but no single album is better than the above ten (2000's Music came close). I also wanted to throw in Rihanna's Rated R (2009), which is altogether a better record than The Fame Monster but, let's all be honest, the Lady deserves a spot here. There were a hundred others--Shakira (for She Wolf, 2009) and John Mayer (Continuum, 2006), M.I.A. (Kala, 2007) and even electro-pop goddess Annie for the dazzling, whirling disco of Anniemal (2004). But when I had to make a choice for Happiest album, there was no doubt in my mind. Amy Winehouse is a legend in the making. She has a voice without peer and an ability to write lyrics as sharp as shattered glass--and as heartbreaking as the worst breakup you've ever been through. Paired with Mark Ronson's addictive beats and as-of-yet-unmatched talent at mimicking the rasp of vintage recordings, one can only hope her heart is broken again. And that's black.

Happiest Track (of the Decade): "Back to Black"

Weekend: 12.21.08

How often do we genuinely love the music we listen to?

I think, more often than we realize, the music we listen to is simply a social tool used to meet arbitrary standards set by our peers. If we were all free from judgment from our "tastemaker" friends--the friends who wear plaid skirts, watch Dexter and listen to Ghostland Observatory--wouldn't we all listen to the processed crap we hear on the radio without hesitation?

I'm sure others have debated this exact point in more concise terms than I, but once again, a fantastic article on Hipster Runoff got me thinking. I mean, why is so many great pop songs (Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone") shunned by the cool kids while Rihanna's "Umbrella" is embraced? Almost as if Rihanna won some hipster lottery, enabling her to be accepted by all music lovers. How stupid.

All people want to feel good. Human nature has programmed us this way. Pop music, on the whole, makes people feel good. It's shiny and electric, filled with hooks and musical connections that send out reinforcing pulses in our brains--the same pulses that one feels upon the completion of a puzzle or a book. (We won't get complicated, but a good musical hook is like a puzzle being solved by the mind over and over again. When the song sounds synchronous and beautiful, our brains feel accomplished.) Basically, I'm saying human beings would likely listen to pop music above other types of music because it's so accessible and can make us feel good easier.

Personally, I've noticed that no matter which song or artist I'm listening to--50 Cent, Sheryl Crow, MGMT, Of Montreal--it's just pop. I don't listen to MGMT's psychodelia. I don't about Crow's country recordings. I pick and choose the songs that most fit this unfortunate "pop" recess in my music library.

Case-in-point: I drunkenly downloaded two Shania Twain albums a few weeks ago (the total truth--long, long story), and the only songs I genuinely listen to are the poppiest of the bunch. I avoid the heartier stuff.

So what is this "thing" about pop music? Is it just me? Do we listen to music that makes us feel good?

(I know plenty of people that listen to gloomy music to make them feel worse--a sad kind of spiral.)

Conclusion to be added when I think of something.

Is Katy Perry the next Madonna?

Right now, everyone's "the next Madonna." Lady Gaga, Rihanna, and Britney Spears, the latter of which being the most realistic candidate, have been crowned the New Queens by blogs and newpapers and films and, in Britney's case, lyrically. There's a reason this debate is going on, too--with her last album, Madonna proved she has lasting power unlike what Confessions on a Dance Floor seemed to suggest. She's got radio power. At 50. With kids. And a divorce.

So, really, who's the next Madonna? (True answer: NO ONE! But let's forget that for a second.) In a moment of inspiration, like, three seconds ago, I decided that the wielder of the Madonna torch is Katy Perry. Think about it--how did Madonna start in this business? Stirring up controversy, courting the gay audience, and setting clothing trends. Granted, Madge had a flawless first album, while Perry's is just oookaaaayyy, but still: the amount of public controversy lil' Katy's "Kissed A Girl" caused is kind of remarkable. It's become this litmus test when you meet someone. "Do you like 'Kissed A Girl?' No? Oh, that sucks. [I.e. Well, our friendship is over.]" Girls who like it are either personally self-affirmed or, well, actually into kissing girls, while those who hate it just hate it because it makes them "good" girls.

Who surrounds Perry on her tour? For better or for worse, a bunch of effeminate makeup artists and dancers and stylists. Who happen to be male. What about the trend-setting style? I will be the first to say Perry's no SJP, but I know more than one girl who's bought a short jumpsuit "like Katy Perry!"

This is truth. Eat it. IT'S KRUCHY!!

P.S. Not my image.

Ciara's "Go Girl"

In the case of Ciara's horrid new single, "Go Girl"--which, unfortunately for her, hasn't gained enough momentum for any airplay in the new era of Rihanna (and to a lesser extent, Beyonce)--music video and song are mutually exclusive in quality. "Go Girl" is boring a derivative, hardly a worthy follow-up to "Like A Boy," but the video is high impact, heavily stylized, and hard-edged. It's essentially everything Ciara is not, which works visually. But that's as far the compliments go.

Music: Beyonce, Cassius and Madonna's sampling minions

The music market is great right now. Musical variety is here, the big names in L.A. are all releasing records this fall, and the club scene is finally warming up. (Ironically enough, as the actual clubs start losing their drunken patronage.) Beyonce's "If I Were A Boy" is decent enough emopop, but I doubt the release will be followed with serious airplay. It's too similar to what Rihanna has done with "Take A Bow," which was in turn a total ripoff of B's own "Irreplaceable." Then again, maybe the departure from traditional Beyonce R&B/Pop--you know, spasmic, over-the-top faux-female empowerment anthems with blaring horns and whistles--is just what she needs. Another problem going for her is a lack of media exposure; it's not that the paparazzi doesn't want her picture (she's looking great in a bikini again), it's that she and Jay-Z avoid them like the plague. Good for their sanity, but not for B's career. There's a price to pay for no longer being a prominent figure in pop culture. Britney Spears just demonstrated how buzz can lead to success with the so-so "Womanizer" which currently sits at the top spot of the Billboard Hot 100. The only way B can come back in full force is with another "Crazy In Love," not likely considering her first two singles.

In other music news, when I started creating my pre-Madonna "Sticky and Sweet Tour" playlist this morning I was led on an iTunes jungle discovery bonanza, where one song led to another and another and another. "Toop Toop" by Cassius is a fun, grungy electronic track similar in spirit to Kylie Minogue's "2 Hearts" (the best track off last years' X), with pegged-on, blippy effects that feel slapped together. The track has a garageband feel to it, which is simply a statement of opinion--not neccesarily good or bad.

I was also turned on to Fedde Le Grand, an electronic artist who apparently missed his bubble of opportunity a long time ago. I only say this because his latest single was in September of 2007, and in DJ circles you have to come hard and fast to maintain the momentum of one good single. (Justice and Simian Mobile Disco are exceptions to this rule, as their talent far surpasses anything put out by your night-to-night DJs.) Regardless, Le Grand did have two good singles, but his only lasting relevance is Madonna's current tour, where she actually covers his breakout track, "Put Your Hands Up 4 Detroit." The song is a blast, with unpredictable synths and Moby-esque vocal samples. The electronic elements are handled in a innovative way that hints at the curiosity of the DJ, with ups and downs and a fun little series of saxophone samples that are instantly recognizable (despite my never hearing them before). Le Grand copies his own brilliance--take that last word with a whole spoonfull of salt--in his follow-up, "Let Me Think About It." Once again channeling Moby, Le Grand tries his hand at funk-electro, to mixed results. Imagine the seuxality of SMD's "Hustler" mixed in with "Put Your Hands Up." It's great for the two minutes it plays, but beyond that I'll stick with the electronica champs, thank you.

T.I. featuring Rihanna, "Live Your Life"

Production>talent

Rihanna>T.I.

"Live Your Life"= Kanye's "Good Life"

The VMAs, Christina Aguilera, Rihanna and T.I....at light speed!

The 2008 MTV Video Music Awards was, predictably, an ass-kissing festival for Britney Spears and a chorus of other pop stars who sang and danced their way onstage to thank God for their little moon-men statues and their managers, for crafting them into good girls gone bad or celibate virgins, in the case of the Jonas Brothers. There was no edge--even Russel Brand, hilarious in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, was offensive and awkward, speaking so loudly his mic sounded like he was performing stand-up eight feet under the Thames.

There were three stand-out performances, however (of those I watched--I don't need to explain my lack of interest in the entire VMAs): Rihanna and T.I. with "Living My Life," officially the new "Good Life" and most certainly destined to become a number one hit. Like, there is no question. It will be number one within three weeks.

Christina Aguilera (dressed like Lady Gag--er, Marvel Comic's Black Cat, right) did a great job, as well, aside from her horrible lipsynching. Her new song is called "Keeps Gettin' Better," apparently, though that doesn't quite make sense considering the only bit of lyric I understood: "BITCH!" The performance was a burst of fresh air in a night of lackluster performances and ugly vocals. Even Rihanna seemed to struggle on her live performance of "Disturbia"--I've seen Rihanna live, and she never struggled to hit mid-range notes...

P!nk was amazing, but what did we expect? She's a phenomenal vocalist with a brilliant single. She's got attitude, a jagged sex appeal, and an air of authenticity when she hits the stage. Nothing unexpected or surprising--just P!nk.

(Speaking of P!nk, she's officially number one on the list of performers I want to see in the upcoming year.)

(And speaking of seeing performers, I'm seeing Yelle in October and I could almost explode I'm so excited)

Beyond the VMAs, I officially have my iTunes account back and went overboard by purchasing 10 songs that have caught my attention in my recent wanderings. One of these is Brandy's "Right Here (Departed)," a beautiful track with deep emotional appeal. Brandy is an iconic R&B artist--if you are not a fan, listen to "Talk About Our Love," an era-defining slice of piano-driven hip-hop--and her new single comes with quite a bit of baggage attached. For anyone with an actual life (i.e. anyone who doesn't read celebrity gossip), Brandy got into a car wreck a few years ago and killed a man. She wasn't sent to jail, but in the eyes of many is a murderer. That's quite a reputation going into her fifth album.

Regardless, "Right Here" is a powerful track, almost too powerful; I'm certainly not experiencing any heartbreak, but Brandy's emotive vocals almost convince me I am.

I want to keep writing about Michelle William's "Hello Heartbreak," a SICKKK club track, but I'm a bit buzzed on wine and losing my creativity...

"I'm an f***in' red neck!"

The above quote is by Sarah Palin's daughter's babydaddy. Yeah, I'm reallllly feelin' McCain's choice for VP--but not for the same reasons the RNC.

(I'm thinking the babydaddy's quote needs to be put on a tee-shirt right away. Like, now. And then "McCain/Palin 08" on the bottom. I would wear that schniz all day long.)

So, random stuff today.

1. Britney Spears got hot.

2. This is hilarious.

3. We all knew it was coming. Kanye, Jay-Z, and T.I. ripped off M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" and crafted a sick track called "Swagger Like Us." It's not even on iTunes--not to mention radio--so you'll have to figure it out downloading it on your own (wink), but I highly recommend you do. The production is dirrrty and reminiscent of T.I.'s King album, with the M.I.A. sample just odd enough that the track retains some authenticity. The lyricism is, naturally, the track's greatest asset: "I can wake up and be the shi*t and the urine." I don't need to tell you who delivers that one.

Awkward moment: Jay-Z...uhh...sings "Ho-o-va" after his verse, sounding like an animal you'd shoot on a safari.

4. The reemergence of "Ma Ya Hi" by Numa Numa. Rihanna's singing it, rappers are sampling it...it's It.

Mad Style: Old Music rocks, TIME Magazine editors think they know music

Old music has come back from the past to gang bang my iPod. "Old" meaning songs and artists who rose to fame before my musical maturation--my musical puberty, if you will. Naturally, Madonna is one of these artists, and that is not to say she isn't relevant today, something that is most certainly debatable, but her catalogue of hit songs goes back almost three decades. That's a lot to dig through.

I'm always writing about Moby and his ability to sense trends before they hit the airwaves, but no one read the musical forecast like Madonna in her prime. Madonna's "Vogue" is a track so future-conscious it's hard to believe it was written and produced before I was even one year old. As a writer, Madonna isn't given enough credit, but with the exception of "She's Not Me," Hard Candy doesn't really warrant any kind of writing praise. But her "old" stuff? It's brilliant. The most amazing thing about "Vogue" isn't the production, which arguably paved the way for hundreds of piano-driven dance tracks (ex. Moby's "Disco Lies"), but the cultural influence and style set forth by Madonna in the late eighties, with "Vogue" the primary vehicle of that influence. The track's echoed vocals and bridge--where Madonna famously name drops like, I don't know, every important actor and actress of the pre-Beatles era--could be the soundtrack to any Gap or American Apparel ad, or even remixed and rerecorded by Rihanna to top the charts. And I'm not suggesting this as some distant New York Times writer whose job requires them to make empty predictions--I'm dead serious, as both a fan of Rihanna and an active observer of pop radio. By observer, however, I mean that literally: if a doctor doesn't have to test every prescription drug he hands out, surely a music blogger doesn't have to listen to Kiss FM to understand what the pop audience craves.

And speaking of distant music writers, TIME magazine wrote an article in this week's issue about the "songs of the summer." "Disturbia" is number two on their list. Let us recap: Rihanna released "Disturbia" little over a month ago, where it received a moderate amount of buzz but never charted well because of "Take A Bow" essentially raping the charts multiple times (it hit No. 1 on Billboard twice, before Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl") Just last week "Disturbia" hit number one, which is surprising to me considering how aurally annoying the song really is. The point here being, how can TIME crown Rihanna's "Disturbia" the song of the summer when the track just hit radio three weeks ago? The answer is, they can't. Of course, the actual "queen" of the summer, if we're going to use that term, goes to Perry and "I Kissed A Girl." (Considering how many times I've written "Grill" in place of "Girl," I should just rewrite the song for her.) But of course the politically correct (LOLZ) TIME denounces "Kissed" because it offends both gays and straights, and "no one really listens to it." And that's why it was number one for almost two months. Thanks TIME, for another well-written article by your musical monkey men with their inability to admit how much they listen to "I Kissed A Girl" in their cage at the zoo.

I'm pretty sure I just wore myself out. Janet Jackson, Salt-N-Pepa ("Push It" may be the sexiest song ever produced), old Kylie Minogue, Boston, and even Smashmouth are beginning to tighten to gap in the race for my taste. Sadly, though, I still choose The New over The Good more often than not, simply because I'm addicted to the former--yes, I really am that shallow. But for now I'll enjoy "Vogue" and "La Isla Bonita" and "Smokin'" and the rest of my pre-pubic tracks while radio continues to devolve into a static blob of Timbaland beats and Akon hooks.

Review: Kanye West's Glow in the Dark Tour

So I saw Kanye West, Pharell and N.E.R.D., Rihanna, and Lupe Fiasco Wednesday night in Austin for the Glow in the Dark Tour.

Words can't really describe the quality of what I saw. But I'll try to break it down for you:

The show started promptly at 7:00, which was an unexpected surprise. The crowd at the entire show was not up to par with what I'd expect for $100.00+ tickets ($300.00+ in my case, sadly); mostly there for Rihanna. Which is fine. But poor Lupe was performing an amazing set to an empty stadium.

While he didn't sing "High Definition," my favorite Lupe track, his finale made up for it. His back-up singers were actually quite talented...one in particular could be the next Keyshia Cole.

N.E.R.D. (my mini-highlight of the evening) came on next. Of all I saw during Glow, N.E.R.D.--with Pharell as their clear shining star--stole the show with the relatively small budget they worked with. "She Wants to Move" had me dancing into the aisles, and my brother was jammed inside with a fatty and his schizophrenic sibling gyrating insanely to his right.

A new track, "Spaz," or something like that, was unbelievable. Pharell literally commanded his audience stand up and go crazy with the chorus. Needless to say, I did.

Rihanna then came on, and no amount of costume changes or stage dancers could make up for her obvious lack of hip-hop credibility. N.E.R.D., Lupe, Kanye all have a sense of authenticity, something they've earned over years in the business. Rihanna is still young and impressionable. This was especially clear as she switched albums during the set. "Pon de Replay" (a lowlight, for sure) sounds elementary next to "S.O.S.," which is even more ridiculous after "Don't Stop the Music" came on. She sang well enough, or at least better than I expected; I am a Rihanna fan, mostly because of "Umbrella" and "Breaking Dishes," both of which she performed very well. Even if I won't remember the specifics of her set ten years from now, at least I can say I saw Rihanna live before she went global.


Kanye...I'm not sure what I can say that won't degrade the creativity, energy, and sheer inspiration his set brought to Glow. He actually had a narrative to follow throughout his set: he was crash-landed on a planet with his robot computer Jane as his only accomplice. We followed Kanye through planetary identification ("I Wonder"), reminiscing on "crashes" of the past ("Through the Wire"), exploring the power of shooting stars ("Flashing Lights"), and even his loner-induced horniness ("Goldigger," a highlight). If you weren't a fan before the show started, there's no way on earth (lol, lol) you could not worship the brilliance that is Kanye West by the show's end two hours later.

When he sang "Champion" halfway through the set, I finally bought into all the self-created hype about his fame. He really is, low and behold, a superstar. "Did you realize/that you were a champion in their eyes?/Yes I did."

So do I.