T.I. featuring Rihanna, "Live Your Life"

Production>talent

Rihanna>T.I.

"Live Your Life"= Kanye's "Good Life"

The VMAs, Christina Aguilera, Rihanna and T.I....at light speed!

The 2008 MTV Video Music Awards was, predictably, an ass-kissing festival for Britney Spears and a chorus of other pop stars who sang and danced their way onstage to thank God for their little moon-men statues and their managers, for crafting them into good girls gone bad or celibate virgins, in the case of the Jonas Brothers. There was no edge--even Russel Brand, hilarious in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, was offensive and awkward, speaking so loudly his mic sounded like he was performing stand-up eight feet under the Thames.

There were three stand-out performances, however (of those I watched--I don't need to explain my lack of interest in the entire VMAs): Rihanna and T.I. with "Living My Life," officially the new "Good Life" and most certainly destined to become a number one hit. Like, there is no question. It will be number one within three weeks.

Christina Aguilera (dressed like Lady Gag--er, Marvel Comic's Black Cat, right) did a great job, as well, aside from her horrible lipsynching. Her new song is called "Keeps Gettin' Better," apparently, though that doesn't quite make sense considering the only bit of lyric I understood: "BITCH!" The performance was a burst of fresh air in a night of lackluster performances and ugly vocals. Even Rihanna seemed to struggle on her live performance of "Disturbia"--I've seen Rihanna live, and she never struggled to hit mid-range notes...

P!nk was amazing, but what did we expect? She's a phenomenal vocalist with a brilliant single. She's got attitude, a jagged sex appeal, and an air of authenticity when she hits the stage. Nothing unexpected or surprising--just P!nk.

(Speaking of P!nk, she's officially number one on the list of performers I want to see in the upcoming year.)

(And speaking of seeing performers, I'm seeing Yelle in October and I could almost explode I'm so excited)

Beyond the VMAs, I officially have my iTunes account back and went overboard by purchasing 10 songs that have caught my attention in my recent wanderings. One of these is Brandy's "Right Here (Departed)," a beautiful track with deep emotional appeal. Brandy is an iconic R&B artist--if you are not a fan, listen to "Talk About Our Love," an era-defining slice of piano-driven hip-hop--and her new single comes with quite a bit of baggage attached. For anyone with an actual life (i.e. anyone who doesn't read celebrity gossip), Brandy got into a car wreck a few years ago and killed a man. She wasn't sent to jail, but in the eyes of many is a murderer. That's quite a reputation going into her fifth album.

Regardless, "Right Here" is a powerful track, almost too powerful; I'm certainly not experiencing any heartbreak, but Brandy's emotive vocals almost convince me I am.

I want to keep writing about Michelle William's "Hello Heartbreak," a SICKKK club track, but I'm a bit buzzed on wine and losing my creativity...

"I'm an f***in' red neck!"

The above quote is by Sarah Palin's daughter's babydaddy. Yeah, I'm reallllly feelin' McCain's choice for VP--but not for the same reasons the RNC.

(I'm thinking the babydaddy's quote needs to be put on a tee-shirt right away. Like, now. And then "McCain/Palin 08" on the bottom. I would wear that schniz all day long.)

So, random stuff today.

1. Britney Spears got hot.

2. This is hilarious.

3. We all knew it was coming. Kanye, Jay-Z, and T.I. ripped off M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" and crafted a sick track called "Swagger Like Us." It's not even on iTunes--not to mention radio--so you'll have to figure it out downloading it on your own (wink), but I highly recommend you do. The production is dirrrty and reminiscent of T.I.'s King album, with the M.I.A. sample just odd enough that the track retains some authenticity. The lyricism is, naturally, the track's greatest asset: "I can wake up and be the shi*t and the urine." I don't need to tell you who delivers that one.

Awkward moment: Jay-Z...uhh...sings "Ho-o-va" after his verse, sounding like an animal you'd shoot on a safari.

4. The reemergence of "Ma Ya Hi" by Numa Numa. Rihanna's singing it, rappers are sampling it...it's It.