Mad Style: Old Music rocks, TIME Magazine editors think they know music

Old music has come back from the past to gang bang my iPod. "Old" meaning songs and artists who rose to fame before my musical maturation--my musical puberty, if you will. Naturally, Madonna is one of these artists, and that is not to say she isn't relevant today, something that is most certainly debatable, but her catalogue of hit songs goes back almost three decades. That's a lot to dig through.

I'm always writing about Moby and his ability to sense trends before they hit the airwaves, but no one read the musical forecast like Madonna in her prime. Madonna's "Vogue" is a track so future-conscious it's hard to believe it was written and produced before I was even one year old. As a writer, Madonna isn't given enough credit, but with the exception of "She's Not Me," Hard Candy doesn't really warrant any kind of writing praise. But her "old" stuff? It's brilliant. The most amazing thing about "Vogue" isn't the production, which arguably paved the way for hundreds of piano-driven dance tracks (ex. Moby's "Disco Lies"), but the cultural influence and style set forth by Madonna in the late eighties, with "Vogue" the primary vehicle of that influence. The track's echoed vocals and bridge--where Madonna famously name drops like, I don't know, every important actor and actress of the pre-Beatles era--could be the soundtrack to any Gap or American Apparel ad, or even remixed and rerecorded by Rihanna to top the charts. And I'm not suggesting this as some distant New York Times writer whose job requires them to make empty predictions--I'm dead serious, as both a fan of Rihanna and an active observer of pop radio. By observer, however, I mean that literally: if a doctor doesn't have to test every prescription drug he hands out, surely a music blogger doesn't have to listen to Kiss FM to understand what the pop audience craves.

And speaking of distant music writers, TIME magazine wrote an article in this week's issue about the "songs of the summer." "Disturbia" is number two on their list. Let us recap: Rihanna released "Disturbia" little over a month ago, where it received a moderate amount of buzz but never charted well because of "Take A Bow" essentially raping the charts multiple times (it hit No. 1 on Billboard twice, before Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl") Just last week "Disturbia" hit number one, which is surprising to me considering how aurally annoying the song really is. The point here being, how can TIME crown Rihanna's "Disturbia" the song of the summer when the track just hit radio three weeks ago? The answer is, they can't. Of course, the actual "queen" of the summer, if we're going to use that term, goes to Perry and "I Kissed A Girl." (Considering how many times I've written "Grill" in place of "Girl," I should just rewrite the song for her.) But of course the politically correct (LOLZ) TIME denounces "Kissed" because it offends both gays and straights, and "no one really listens to it." And that's why it was number one for almost two months. Thanks TIME, for another well-written article by your musical monkey men with their inability to admit how much they listen to "I Kissed A Girl" in their cage at the zoo.

I'm pretty sure I just wore myself out. Janet Jackson, Salt-N-Pepa ("Push It" may be the sexiest song ever produced), old Kylie Minogue, Boston, and even Smashmouth are beginning to tighten to gap in the race for my taste. Sadly, though, I still choose The New over The Good more often than not, simply because I'm addicted to the former--yes, I really am that shallow. But for now I'll enjoy "Vogue" and "La Isla Bonita" and "Smokin'" and the rest of my pre-pubic tracks while radio continues to devolve into a static blob of Timbaland beats and Akon hooks.

Music: Beck, Kerli

I don't really understand my iPod's "played count" ticker. There are songs I listen to on repeat for weeks, and other songs I forget about (or avoid)--my little iPod ticker, however, disagrees.

Case in point: Sam Sparro's debut has been spinning (incorrect usage, but a nice alternative to "playing") on my iPod for two weeks now. The most plays on a single song are 20. 20? On an album I can't stop listening to?

How is that possible?

More gruesome than that is how many other songs end up with twenty to thirty-plus plays without my intentionally listening. Lindsay Lohan's "Bossy," a song that lost it's sheen for me about seven plays in, has a count of 18. "I'm Grown," by the ultra-typical, ultra-embarrassing Tiffany Evans, has 12. Janet's "LUV" has 52.

There are many more instances of this music ticker enigma, on both sides of the equation. The Caeser's "Jerk It Out" and the X-Ecutioner's "Like This" have under 20 plays, but I feel like I've been listening to them for eternity.

But on to the important stuff. Today is a good music Tuesday.

We'll start with Kerli, as at least one reader is interested in hearing what I have to say about our Estonian-born Avril Lavigne lookalike. Firstly, my ego won't allow me to continue until I brag about how I had Kerli's EP in January. Oh, that's right (cue evil grin). It all started when I played Burnout: Paradise and heard "Creepshow," a track so off the chain I don't really know how to describe it with regular adjectives. It's not musically pleasant, per se, but you've got to respect an artist like Kerli for totally relinquishing any fears about public perception and letting it all hang out in her North American debut. That doesn't mean it's always healthy to do so, however; Love Is Dead is the musical equivalent of a Moulin Rouge circus in the middle of Iceland. The musical effects are so bizarre, especially on adventurous songs like "Creepshow," that it's difficult to listen to the album unless your working out or in a seriously chilled mood; really, it's difficult to listen to period. Even "Walking On Air," a fluffy track with tinklings of ice crystals and a decent hook, is only so-so for me. (I gave it up in February.) Granted, Eastern-European pop has never been my bag--Bjork's show at last year's ACL did not change my mind--and Kerli is most definitely channeling her heritage. Good for her, though. I'll just stick with "Creepshow."

Beck's new album dropped today. I'm not as thrilled as I was in 2006, for The Information, but that album left me so empty I have no Beckcitement left. (oh, I made a lol!) I don't mean that in a good way; music is supposed to help fight boredom, not induce it. Modern Guilt displays a new, Spoon-influenced sound for Beck, and it's actually not that boring! My favorite track, and the only track I would recommend putting down cash for, is the title track. "Modern Guilt" has Beck cooing his raspiest, most nonchalant vocal against a perky bass line and piano peppering the background. The end is weak, though, as Beck seems to just fall off the song into a repetitive murmuring of "lalas" and other Blink-182 fillers. Guero still Beck's strongest album with his strongest songs, and I'm afraid Guilt won't change that.

3OH!3 and Imogen Heap's return on the way...

So many Jacksons!

I've been listening to (parts) of Janet Jackson's new album Discipline for awhile now, but the album is just starting to come to fruition for me. Namely, the track "LUV." It's a shimmery, bouncy song with just the right volume for her voice (which, while extremely recognizable, is also extremely thin). "Rollercoaster" is also great, if you don't mind that it isn't radio-friendly. A big dissapointment is "2nite," which Rolling Stone liked for some odd reason. The production values are remarkably low compared to the rest of the album.

Bully: Scholarship Edition on Xbox 360 is a total blast. I love Rockstar, but this game (designed by the Vancouver branch) is a really unique take on the free-roaming, beat-up-everything genre that GTA: III created. The characters in the game seem to, well, act. It's creepy but riveting to watch a poorly pixelated animated character speak and move in a convincingly human way. Gary, your arch-enemy in the game, delivers some top-notch lines like "It's sink or swim, Jimmy. If you can swim, you have to let the losers drown." YES.

On a more personal note, it's really nice that the weekend is finally here. Time is a two-part gift for me: on one hand, I always have things to look forward to. On the other hand, life seems to move so fast.