Fergie: A Legitimate Proposal

Fergie (a.k.a. Stacey Ferguson) is a total badass. She's not the prettiest flower in the field (stem not included), but she's persistent, completely open about her oft-shallow lyrics, and has an extremely definitive style for sell-out pop radio. She wasn't always sell-out pop radio either, spending half a decade in the adult-alternative rock band Wild Orchid. But this is not about Fergie as a person. This is about Fergie as a rapper.

Female rappers are never on the radio anymore. "Lights Go Off," Foxy Brown's November 2007 attempt at a comeback, did not even chart. Honestly, if these women weren't in jail so often perhaps their music would play on the radio. Fergie, on the other hand, is relatively wholesome in the criminal category and has mad rhythm. She's demonstrated her rapping abilities on a number of ridiculous songs, like the genre-defining "My Humps," the horrid 2008 Nelly duet "Party People," and apparently the new Sex & The City movie "theme song." Like "My Humps," she starts rapping near the end, mostly listing labels and designers (a Fergie constant), and seriously--magic happens.

Therefore, in light of this evidence, I propose Fergie's next album be heavily weighted in reggae-tinged rap. Nelly raps in tune (which is strange, but works for him), and Fergie should do the same. Or perhaps the way they "rap" is really just singing quickly? I don't know, and I don't care. I'm ready for the next Fergie album to be under the "Genre: Rap" label on iTunes.